Deserve Read online

  “I wish she would just stay here for grad school. The University of Chicago has a great program, but she insists she wants to attend Columbia. By the way, I put in a transfer to work for FDNY.”

  After Cael left the army, he trained to be a firefighter. It’s the perfect profession for him. It requires minimal interaction with the public and the mission is always clear. I can’t see him in a desk job or in any line of work where he’d have to navigate office politics.

  “No shit! Aren’t you taking the protective thing a bit far?”

  “Not you too. I haven’t told Maggie yet because she’s going to blow a gasket, but she’s my only remaining family, Sean.” Cael’s voice becomes tight toward the end of the sentence and my throat constricts.

  Cael and Maggie’s bastard of a father abandoned them when they were kids, leaving Lorna Jackson to raise them on her own. She was an amazing woman and she would be proud of how her kids turned out. I would never forget her kindness; she had welcomed me into their family unit with open arms. She fussed and fretted over me like I was one of her children. Cael thought her mothering would irritate me, but I loved it. I spent more holidays with the Jacksons than with my own family. My mom died in a car accident when I was a teen. When Lorna died from cancer five years ago, I felt like I had lost my mom all over again.

  “You’re going to catch hell when she finds out.” I could just imagine Maggie’s pointy chin jutting out in rebellion as she goes toe-to-toe with her tough-as-nails older brother.

  He makes a scoffing sound. “Which is why she’s not going to find out until it’s a done deal.”

  I snicker at his answer. Strike first and ask questions later is a good strategy when dealing with Maggie. “It’ll be great to have you in the same city. Maybe I can help you get laid.”

  “Fuck off, you asshole.”

  “Charming, as always, Cael. Hey! You can always crash at my place when you move here. God knows I have the space.” My thirty-five-hundred-square-foot, four-bedroom, five-bath apartment is an obscene amount of space for one person, but I can’t bear to sell it. My mom left it to me and I like knowing she lived there when she was young and single—when she was happy.

  “Hell no! I don’t need to witness the endless parade of women going in and out of your bedroom. Besides, Rob says he knows a couple of ex-military guys who can hook me up with a place.”

  “Well, the invite’s an open one. I’ve lived with you before so I already know what a pig you are.”

  He snorts in disbelief. “Right. Who woke up next to a congealed piece of pizza, reeking of cheap beer?”

  “Ah…those were the good ol’ days.” I smile at the memory of the first time I met Cael. I had moved into the dorms a day early and had a party in the room to celebrate my emancipation from my father’s thumb. When I woke up from the aftermath, I saw a grim-faced, hulking giant frowning down at me in disapproval. It was my new roommate. And the rest, as they say, is history.

  “I don’t have time to go down memory lane with you. Besides your life is one long poorly written porn,” he utters with disgust.

  “Hey, I resent that! It’s not all poorly written. Remember I dated that English major? What was her name? Amanda? No…Samantha! She was going to be a poet. I’m sure she wrote a goddamn epic about my performance. Ode to Sean’s magnificent co—”

  “Stop!” He groans theatrically. “Please don’t introduce whoever you’re dating to my baby sister. I don’t want her to be corrupted.”

  “You’re just jealous.” I keep my tone light, but after tonight’s episode with the blonde, I have to agree with him. I always thought I respected women, but recently the women were interchangeable and the sex was mechanical. I really need to get my shit together or I’d turn into my bastard of a father.

  He snorts again. “Listen, can you do me a favor and pretend that it’s your idea to pick her up and show her around?”

  “Afraid she’ll kick your ass?” The cab pulls up to my building and I pay the driver. I walk through the front door and exhale in relief as the air conditioning hits my skin. With a wave to the guard, I enter the elevator.

  “Or worse, she’ll pull her stubborn shit and change her flight without letting me know.”

  The thought of his little sister pulling a fast one on the ex-Ranger makes me smirk. “Fine. I’ll call her to congratulate her and then arrange everything.”

  “It’s not that I don’t think she can take care of herself, but I worry about her in a new city.”

  “I get it, man. Leave it to me. At the end of the call, she’d think she was the one who came up with the idea.” Bullshitting people is not only in my DNA, but after years of being in the public eye, I’ve honed the skill to a fine art.

  “Thanks—”

  “Don’t fucking say you owe me one,” I interject before he can get all mushy on me. “And let me know when your transfer comes through. I’ll come up with a few plans to help you get some pussy. God knows you need all the help you can get.” Cael has no problem getting women. They love his tough-guy exterior, but his challenge is maintaining a relationship for longer than a few months.

  “Fuck off!”

  I’m still laughing when he hangs up. Closing my front door behind me, I fling my jacket over the arm of the sofa and head to the kitchen. I grab a beer and take a long draw, savoring the cold brew going down my gullet. I contemplate my cavernous open-plan apartment. Before I moved in, I had a professional designer update the décor to my specifications, but it still never quite felt like home.

  “Even if the fucker moved in, I probably wouldn’t notice he was here.”

  Clicking on the TV, I let the news play in the background as I let my mind wander. It would be nice to have the Cael in the same city. Maggie, too.

  Nobody could have guessed that Cael and I would end up being friends. I was a privileged rich brat rebelling against his father by refusing to go to the Ivy League school attended by generations of Rowans. He was a poor kid from Chicago who could only afford to attend college because of a football scholarship. Away from my dad’s watchful eye, I was hungry to test the limits of my newfound freedom, attending every party on and off campus. Cael was an antisocial, brooding bastard who radiated “fuck off” vibes.

  To this day, he still doesn’t understand why I made such an effort to be friends with him. While others gave him a wide berth, I ignored his dark moods and dragged him with me everywhere. He never became the life of the party, but over time he learned to loosen up.

  The reason for our friendship was never a mystery to me.

  Growing up as the only son of a U.S. Senator, I was surrounded by people who always had an agenda. Everything was about politics and everyone was jockeying for power and wealth. Sincerity and authenticity were rare commodities in my world. Early on, I learned to never trust anybody. Not even my own father.

  Cael Jackson, on the other hand, was blunt and unfiltered. He had zero tolerance for bullshit. If he didn’t like you, he wasn’t going to pretend he did. His honesty was admirable, but also appallingly harsh. From day one, I knew this was a man I could trust. With him, I never have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

  With my trust fund and my father’s money, I could have easily afforded a single room. Hell, I could have demanded a whole floor to myself, but I wanted my college years to be as normal as possible. Besides, I was tired of being by myself all the time.

  My parents were always away at political events and fundraisers. I had no siblings and the only “friends” I had were the sons and daughters of other politicians. Not exactly the ideal candidates for confidants. It was impossible to be relaxed when we were always surrounded by an entourage of bodyguards who were ready to report the slightest slip to their bosses.

  Thank God I had asked for a double. Thank God they had assigned Cael Jackson as my roommate.

  The day he invited me to go home with him was the day I knew he finally trusted me. That was spring break. The stubborn bastard took eight fucking mon
ths to finally get to that point, but I was grateful he did. I told everyone I was thinking about flying to Aruba, but I had planned to stay in the dorms, as I had for all the other holidays.

  Somehow Cael knew I was lying about my trip. The night before he was due to take the bus home, he had looked up from his book and stared at me for a long time, as if weighing my worth. “If you want, you could spend the week with me in Chicago, but don’t expect some plush guestroom shit. You’ll be slumming it,” he said almost belligerently.

  I didn’t know if the invitation was given out of pity, but I didn’t care. Going home to my father’s house was not an option and it was lonely as fuck being in the dorms by myself. It seemed everyone had a place to go, except for me. I could fly to a tropical island, but drinking myself unconscious among strangers sounded depressing as hell.

  Cael looked shocked when I eagerly accepted and offered to drive us into the city. During the ride, he kept hinting that I shouldn’t expect any creature comforts at his house and I realized he was embarrassed by his poverty.

  “I get it. I’ll have to eat your table scraps and sleep with the rats. Asshole,” I grumbled, offended that he thought I was such a snob.

  But it turned out he was right to warn me. I had never seen the kind of neighborhood he lived in except in movies. When we walked to his building from the secured garage he insisted I park at, we saw two deals go down in broad daylight.

  His gaze was locked onto my face when we entered the apartment and I was glad that years of being in the spotlight had perfected my poker face. I was shocked by how small the apartment was. It was hard to imagine how three people could fit into the space, but as I stood in the tiny living room, I felt warmth seep into my skin. The furniture might be shabby and the paint might be peeling, but everything was spotlessly clean, proudly telling the viewer that this was a loving home.

  Then a loud squeal and a streak of lightning flashed by me.

  “Cael! You’re back!”

  My eyes bugged out when I heard him laugh. Where the fuck was the grim-faced asshole I’d known for the better part of the school year? Cael’s whole demeanor softened as he hugged the skinny little girl—all red curls and pale limbs—hanging onto him like a monkey.

  “Hey brat, it’s good to see you.” Arm slung around her narrow shoulders, he gestured to me. “Maggie, this is my roommate, Sean Rowan. He’s going to stay with us for the week. Sean, this is my little sister, Maggie.”

  A little heart-shaped face turned to me with a wary expression. Freckles dotted her nose and cheeks and tight curls flew every which way.

  Unconsciously, I gentled my voice. “Hi, Maggie. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Hi, nice to meet you,” she mumbled, but she didn’t sound like she meant it. She turned to her brother and asked, “Does this mean you’re not going to take me to the Cubs game? Are you going to take Sean?”

  I had never heard my name infused with so much scorn and I had to bite back a grin. I knew I had my work cut out for me to win over this dynamo, but I was determined to do it. Leaning down, I asked, “I was going to ask you if I could go with you and your brother. I don’t know that much about baseball, but Cael told me you know a lot.”

  She looked at me suspiciously, but had magnanimously agreed to let me go with them. I never thought I would enjoy hanging out with a little girl, but Maggie was as smart as whip and her reactions were so pure, it was a joy to watch her expressive face.

  It took months for her to warm up to me. When she hugged me for the first time, I knew I had won her over. It felt pretty amazing.

  Being in the Jackson fold was a revelatory experience for me. I grew up in a privileged environment, but I had very little genuine human interaction, especially after my mom died. Spending time with the Jacksons helped me find my humanity again. They were far from rich, but they lived their lives richly, with incredible love, honesty, and integrity. I’d rather crash out on Cael’s bedroom floor in my sleeping bag than check into the Four Seasons.

  To this day, I believe Cael saved me from becoming a complete amoral bastard like my dad when he invited me to go home with him and for that, he has my complete loyalty.

  Chapter Two

  Maggie

  “Sean?” I speak his name tentatively, even though I clearly saw his gorgeous face flashing across my screen half a second ago. My surprise is understandable since he and I have only communicated in the most superficial of ways for the last few years. All updates about our lives go through my brother.

  “Hey, Maggie!” His deep, velvety voice is like a shot of one hundred twenty proof single-malt whiskey. Smooth and smoky and packing a hell of a lot of heat.

  Trying to shake off the effect he has on me, I stand up from the sofa and walk to the window. “What’s up? How are you?”

  “I’m doing well. My life is boring.” A pause. His voice turns teasing and I could picture that perfect grin on his face. “But I heard your life is getting more exciting.”

  “Cael told you,” I say, exasperated.

  “Why didn’t you tell me yourself?” There’s a note of puzzlement in his voice—almost hurt—and I fight off the guilt.

  Because you never seem interested in my life. Because the smart thing is to keep my distance from you.

  Instead of answering his question, I rib, “Come on now. I hear you’re busy working through the roster of the Ford modeling agency. Sounds way more exciting than graduate school.”

  Maybe I’m exaggerating a tad, but I’ve seen enough tabloid covers to know I’m not too far off the mark. He always has some stunning woman on his arm. Sean doesn’t seek the spotlight, but reporters are naturally drawn to him. He has a face that’s made for cameras and his story is too compelling to ignore: billionaire son of a powerful politician who has eschewed a glamorous life of leisure for a humble career in the NYPD. It’s only a matter of time before Hollywood comes knocking to get the movie rights to his life.

  “Your brother is a liar.”

  I chortle. “Oh, I guess you’re dating the Elite models as well? Then I’m surprised you can keep a full-time job.”

  “Brat!” he accuses with a small chuckle.

  I grimace at Sean echoing what my brother calls me. He will always see me as his best friend’s pesky sister and nothing more.

  “Congratulations, Freckles! Getting into medical school is quite an accomplishment.”

  “Thanks, Sean.” I smile at the sincerity in his voice.

  “When does school start?”

  “August seventeenth.” Since I received my acceptance packet, I have my whole schedule memorized. Going to medical school has been a life-long goal.

  “And when are you flying to New York?”

  “August eighth. I have to check into student housing and go to orientation events during the week.”

  “Think you can spare some time for an old friend in between your busy schedule?”

  “Sure. What do you have in mind?” I keep my tone casual, ignoring my racing pulse.

  “If you don’t have something arranged, I can pick you up from the airport and after we drop your things off, we can catch up.”

  My eyes narrow in suspicion, wondering if my brother had pre-arranged the airport pickup, but I let go of my annoyance at his interference. It would be nice to see a friendly face when I land in a new city. “That sounds great. I’ll text you my flight info.”

  “I can’t wait to see you. It’ll be nice to have you in the city.”

  Despite telling myself he’s only being polite, a little warm ball of pleasure forms in my belly. “Thanks, Sean. I can’t wait to see you too.”

  After we hang up, I continue to stand at the window, staring sightlessly at our back yard.

  I’m the biggest cliché walking around. I’m in love with my brother’s best friend. Pathetic, I know.

  I’ve had a crush on him since I was fifteen. When Cael first brought his college roommate home for a week-long visit, I had just turned eleven. At first I res
ented having to share my time with my brother. Cael had been a surrogate father to me ever since our sperm donor abandoned us when I was two.

  But resentment of Sean’s intrusion soon turned to guarded acceptance and then to outright worship. He treated me like an indulgent older brother. Every time he visited, he’d bring me little treats, like the latest bestseller or a souvenir from his exotic vacations. Cael and Sean let me tag along with them everywhere. They brought me to baseball and football games and let me gorge myself on hot dogs and soda.

  Hero worship transitioned into a teenage infatuation. For a time in high school, I couldn’t look at Sean without blushing. He was handsome and kind and everything I wanted in a boyfriend. I didn’t even mind him calling me the dreaded and unoriginal nickname “Freckles.”

  Then one night in a greasy diner, I lost my heart irretrievably to Sean.

  When I walked into the restaurant, his presence drew my gaze like a lodestone. Sean was already in a booth, his gorgeous body clad in a dark grey button-down shirt and black jeans. He must have sensed my stare because he looked up and grinned. He stood up and pulled me into an affectionate hug.

  “Freckles, it’s so good to see you.” At the sound of my nickname, I knew my primping had been a wasted effort. No amount of lip gloss and mascara would get him to see me as a desirable woman. I tried to not let my disappointment show, reminding myself that he was way out of my league.

  At twenty-five, he dated sophisticated, sexually experienced women. Why would he be interested in a skinny seventeen-year-old schoolgirl?

  Sean Rowan was gorgeous. Wheat blond hair with the barest hint of a wave, cobalt blue eyes, straight nose and sculpted cheeks and stubborn jaw. Most people mistook him for a model or a movie star. The only thing that kept him from being too pretty was the underlying darkness in the depths of his eyes. He might always be laughing and joking, but that adamantine hardness never left his eyes.